A Long December

And in Las Vegas they say, the UATeam partied hard that day

Call this an abridgement of June to January.  A few trivial and fun things left out, but the important things covered.  Among them is the reason for my neglect and a damn good one.

See, what I should have done is make a big fun post recapping the bitchin' weekend I had at our annual Vegas trip the first week in August. 
...But I didn't, and shortly after I got back I didn't want to do much else except spend time with my family which it turns out was a good idea. 
 

So I did, then went back out as usual. And on the 24th I was spending the night in Gary when my sister called and in a matter of seconds I felt like I got hit by well... a truck.

8/25/13 - The sun still came up

I can't even begin to describe my dad's father, and for those of you who where standing there next to me those 2 days, I don't have to.  Now sitting here for 15 minutes staring at the screen I can at least say I tried but I simply can't do justice in words here.  Let's just say his loss was one we all could have done without. 

Same with my aunt that very week, and my mom's mother in November.

I lost 3 people I loved this year.  Within 77 days of each other.  Needless to say despite the high praise I constantly get for my musings here, I really could give a shit whether I sign on more than once in 6 months so long as come out here, do this damn job, and come home to see my family when I'm not.

Leaving you with that to kick around, you're right.  It is time to move on from here.  And as luck would have it, I'm way ahead of ya.

2014

What can I say about 2014?  The plan to resign from Roehl and fall back on a local driving job that affords me some more time home is still solid on the back burner.

At the forefront, and in between those two steps is a whole lot of something I have grown to hate since leaving Arizona, but something that 2013 has inspired me to embrace again.  Risk and uncertainty.

Most of the team in 2011

I got an email the other day informing me that I was accepted as a Conference Associate at the Game Developers Conference this year, and being accepted into that group's ranks is no small task. I have done it a total of 3 times since 2008, most recently in 2011.  I missed out on GDC the last 2 years and have regretted the hell out of it.  While I don't expect to be walking away with a job this time, at the very least I'll be on the up-and-up with the industry.  My knowledge has been stagnating the last 2 years and it's time to put an end to the blackout I've put myself in.  This should get me some damn good motivation for phase 2 of 2014.



Back in late November I accepted a summer job with a company I worked for in 2011 called iD Tech.  They run summer computer camps for kids ages 13-18 on college campuses across the country. I'll be instructing campers in the use of many video game development tools I have used since college.  I was a last minute fill-in for 3 weeks at Villanova University back then, but this time I'm all in for the full 8 week program at Stanford.  Yes, I'm coming home to spend time with the family.  ...then flying to California for 2 months.

Yes, I mean these friends

I had a blast doing this the first time, although I had no experience working with kids or even attending a single summer camp myself.  What I did still have imprinted on my mind was level design, and the desire to make entertaining games.  I felt that burning back in 2006 when I signed on to UAT, and loved it.  When I looked at those kids, I saw myself.  I saw my friends from college.  Instilling them with the knowledge I picked up was absolutely exhilarating.  As their projects grew more and more towards completion everyone got more and more excited, and when it was all over and we said our goodbyes I literally had a couple tears in my eyes.

At the very core of why I want to make video games, I can boil it down to 2 things.  Firstly I want to be part of a team that makes something great and amazing.  I don't need to be in the spotlight, I just want to have the pride and satisfaction of knowing we did something people will remember.  Second and something I can trace back to when I first picked up Legos and K'nex, is my desire to entertain; albeit behind the scenes.  If I can see the enjoyment people get out of something that I made, I'm happy.  iD Tech and sharing time with like-minded campers will be a damn good way to get to that nirvana.

This will afford me the opportunity to get back in the swing of things by learning the ins and outs of the software I've been parted from for so long.  At least to a sufficient level where I can teach a good amount of it.  I'm going to leave a decent gap between turning in my keys and the first day of camp to do just that.  While we're out there I'll also have the opportunity to network with others in various capacities of the industry.  Same goes with GDC in March.


When its all over, on my birthday we make our annual hike to Vegas with a damn good reason for me to party hard.  After that, I see one of 2 things happening.
1) My portfolio output going into iD Tech will be a good amount that I can find myself in an industry job with help from some networking.
2) While I might make the hike back to Massachusetts empty handed, I hang onto my CDL and get a local driving job that offers the home time necessary to continue my portfolio work, and I go back to my resume spewing a-la 2009 albeit a little older and a LOT wiser.

While the latter is less desirable and represents a likely pay cut, the way I see it, it's better than where I stand now.  I spent the last third of my life gunning for this.  Spent a lot of time, a lot of money, and gained countless life experiences as a result.  Most good, a handful not so good.   I won't be satisfied until I'm standing there with my name in the credits.  I'm not giving up on this.

For everybody who told me to just go for it and never give up, I miss you all every day.  Gene Kirchner, Frank and Betty Caires, Peter Bogdan, Jim, Lita, and Mary Guzofski.